As it is now the beginning of the second week of NaNoWriMo, I will now be moving on to writing purely poetry for a week. I’ll be either uploading new poems or edited versions of old ones.
I am in a room, full of people. And we are all singing the same song. I don’t know who the song was originally by, but you could say we are performing a cover. There’s an old Indian lady in the corner, singing at the top of her lungs, eyes closed, body entranced, she swings from side to side, each beat tugging her in a different direction. I do not know what the song means, I am five years old and cannot yet understand Hindi, but I sing along anyways. Now, I understand the language but not the song.
It’s directed to God. I can ask who he is in two languages and he doesn’t respond in either. When my aunt passed away he made no response then too. I called to him so many times — I guess the signal was just bad, or he didn’t pick up the phone because he refused to hear it ring.
Did he even see the phone? What does he see, then, I wonder? I imagine him with glasses big enough to shatter the entire Earth. He holds us in his palm and begins to squeeze. His eyes see but his ears do not hear. He doesn’t hear the phone ring, he doesn’t hear us sing. He doesn’t hear the cries of the mothers who have lost their sons, he doesn’t hear the yells of the people who are killed by guns, he runs away and does not return.
But still, in Judaism, they write God without an o; they replace it with a dash, they don’t want to be lashed for saying his name without respect. Fear crushes them, like the bricks of an innocent building crush innocent ‘children of God’ in an earthquake, I’m tired of seeing people’s spirits being crushed in the same way, and then other people saying it was just up to the plan of God and he was just testing humans.
What is this plan? What does he see? If everything is created equal in the eyes of God, why is everything destroyed before the eyes of humans? Because I’ve concluded, if it is a test — does the country with the highest number of corpses win?
This poem was written as part of National Novel Writing Month 2017 [Day 7, Poem #1]